This article, written by Maurie Taylor is very fruitful for you to be good parent!
What is the definition of a parent "good"? Is someone who maintains? A person who is a discipline? Someone who is a friend? Perhaps the parents of "good" each have qualities and more. The challenge of parenting is that each parent must come to know their children - and themselves - and make important decisions about the kind of parents they will. I believe that the definition of a parent "good" is the parents who prepare their children for life in which parents no longer needed. In short, parents who allow themselves to be "not necessary" may be parents who do a good job parenting.
My child, 18 and 17, continue towards the final goal. Every day they make decisions that more and more "" of their own. In the teachings of my parents worked at a local community center, I was often asked by clients, "what makes a good parent?" Because parents are very daunting task and each parent and child is so unique, the answer to that question is one approach me cautiously and thoughtfully, and with much humility. However, I believe that parents who better to make the world a better and care taken in concert with others who have lived and learned. Here are my suggestions:
1 - Say "yes" as much as possible. Saying yes does not mean unlimited. You can say, "Yes, you can have your cookie AFTER your dinner." or "Yes, you can play with your friends AFTER you clean your room."
2 - Hold on loosely but do not let go. Of course, this rock song, but it works in most relationships, especially parents. The goal of parenting is to get people depending independent in every way: socially, financially, spiritually and emotionally. I compare a good parent to a sledding slope. The infant's first year is about the basics: getting all the necessary tools together, feel comfortable, find the groove. This is a hard, physical work and sometimes exhausting. Five years into the future is a trip up the mountain where issues of trust in the relationship of their most delicate care. The kids asked, "Can I count on you?" during these times and parents must answer back, "Sure." Five years into the future is the way to the bottom where is all about only a guide and enjoy the journey and recovery from wiped out. Celebration and reflection are the hallmarks of this phase.
3 - Know the difference in the agreements and contracts. agreement is an agreement based on one person while the contract is an agreement based on two people. Child is a treaty in the sense that love is there for children at no cost, expense or effort on their part. My kids can not get my love, it is me to give. There are things in that relationship, though, that need to contractual agreements, not necessarily in a legal sense, but in terms of the agreement. "When you've finished your homework, we'll go to the movies." or "when the next grade, you can have access to a car."
4 - My children are not "me." I'm grateful (and simple) to be part of the process of making my kids but they are not mine. I do not have them and in fact, my role is to give them a chance for them to be the boss "self" is not for me to be the boss "them."
5 - My children do not carry on my dreams. What a tremendous burden for the children to struggle under the weight of expectations of parents and dream. I want my children to have their own dreams, not burdened with unfulfilled dreams in my life. That means that when they are in the field of life - either metaphorically or physcially - my role is to cheer on my kids and their teams. My children do not have to struggle under my past no matter how noble or pathetic.
6 - Speak the truth into their lives if possible. Child is an opportunity for parents to create opportunities where children see themselves in the story of life. This means that parents can actually speak what can be a life of their children if possible. This is why parents give children the message that they are very important because from the viewpoint of the child's parents is a mirror where they see themselves. Sometimes it sounds like a fiction story when you say d, "I know you can reach the goal _____!" And sometimes it may be an impossible dream. The purpose of dreams is to create a new reality that can be achieved only by looking at the possibility of resistance, both in bad, perhaps impossible.
Conversely, it is the role of parents to guide children to areas where they may be more suitable. While I am not going to prevent my children to try new things I can see where they might have more natural talent and can encourage their development in the field of music, art or sports whenever I can. The final decision for my child to go where, however, is their own.
7 - Be a screw up - I believe that children need guidance, not perfection. In fact, I believe that the role of parents is to create a settlement is not perfect. Children, by design, is as much about the formation of a parent for the children. Simple approach to parenting is transformative in that parents will learn a lot about themselves and the world through the process of good parenting as children will.
8 - Companion to # 7 - Say "I'm sorry" quickly - I have no problem saying "I failed!" for my children if necessary. The truth is that I blew every day. Despite the humble to realize that my kids already know more than I do math ability, also convincing. No parent can know everything every parent also can not be everything to their children. Parents can, however, let their children know that they cared and that they are not alone.
9 - Having a partner - Are married or not, parents need support. I am thankful for my husband 21 years of talented in a way that I never could. As our children grow up I amused by how my husband is able to describe the knot with our children. Other times my parents' skills may be better suited for certain situations. Knowing the needs of children and what is most needed at that moment is a skill that must be learned as you know your child. Be patient with this process and with yourself. (See 7 & 8 of the above!)
10 - Pray a lot - I believe that children are part of the design life with the creator who knows everything they need before they ever take a first breath. In fact that is my prayer in the bleak days of care, "YOU know what they need, help them even though I am."
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